You are on my website! Good job. If you want to read some flash fiction, click on the arrow. If you want to know more about me, perhaps in preparation to give me hundreds of thousands of dollars, click on the navigation links above.

I’m glad we could meet like this. Let’s meet up all the time.

The dog was born in a nice, top floor apartment. The dog felt loved and cared for until his owner fell in love with a girl with a deathly allergic reaction to dogs. After that, the dog had to go. Farmers adopted him and took him to the country in the back of a pick-up truck. Whenever he got the chance he stood on top of the cab to get as far away from the muddy ground as possible. He barked at his new owners: Take a shower, take a shower. He bared his teeth.

The coffee was delicious and the cigarette was disgusting, and she went back to bed with a buzz. “You smell like cigarettes,” he said when she got under the covers. “It’s just like you to focus on the disgusting part,” she said. He tried to kiss her to make up for it, but she just opened her mouth and breathed all over him.

He woke up forgetful. He could remember his name and where he put his glasses, which he put on, but everything in his mind stayed fuzzy. He had a vague notion that he was troubled before, but he couldn’t remember why, and this made him smile.

You’re glowing today. You look beautiful. You were right to swallow all of those fireworks. You were right to swallow that match. It was a great idea to drink the liquid from that glow stick, to warm up and slurp that glow-in-the-dark paint like it was soup. You’re shimmering. You’re a delight. You’re beautiful.

He read her book in one sitting and thought about what it meant. How much was about me? He hoped the part about the rocket ships, but he couldn’t be sure and he didn’t want to ask. He never had this trouble with other books he thought as he squirmed in his suddenly uncomfortable chair. When he read that book about the pirates and the tiger, he never once wondered if he was a pirate or a tiger. He just wanted to know how it ended.